And the orienting continues!

Things I did today:
-got lost on the way to Rathbone Dining Hall
-painted a koi on my face in our theater makeup workshop
-ate lunch at a sweet deli called Goosey Gander's (good food)
-went to PHILADELPHIA and rocked the art museum
-started writing postcards

I'm looking forward to having a tad bit more free time. I seriously come back to my room and have enough time to call mom&dad, shower, and check in on the internets before it's time for bed.

Mary comes back tomorrowww. Huzzah.

I think I'll start paper-journaling. Blogging is boring.

T minus five days.

I had my last dance classes tonight. Jazz/hip hop was actually great for once - Ms. Lindsay complimented me on the routines a couple times, and I NAILED my pirouettes, for once. But by the time tap swung around, I was exhausted and could hardly remember the combinations. Well...you can't win 'em all, I guess.

Design Starrr's on tonight. I'm going to be sad when I'm in PA and can't watch it with mi familia.

August. T minus eleven days.

I hadn't originally planned to take the summer off from blogging, but I'm glad I did. I'm glad I didn't try to squeeze everything in, making this a chore. Tumblr has been my creative outlet, my nerd-cave, and my stream-of-consciousness, but I haven't necessarily been 'blogging.'

Em, Abbs, be prepared. I'm dragging y'all back into this, at least for the first bit of the school year. We are making this happen.

Anyways. Today is August 9th. I played frisbee golf with Amber this morning, helped my grandfather with some more book signings & genealogy stuff, and watched my mom go around the house hunting brown recluses. Right now I'm sipping green tea and feeling like a hipster or something, but it's okay.

I'm trying to see all these people before I leave, even though I really don't want to. It would be so much easier to just drift away and not worry about goodbyes. But these people I'm trying to squeeze in are my underclassmen buddies - the people who don't and can't understand what this time of my life is right now. So I'll have coffee with Annie and Parker, take Rachel out for ice cream, and let Suzanne drag me to the mall. Because if they want to say goodbye, I'm not really one to yank it from them.

I leave in eleven days. Mary and I are officially roommates, and all my college stuff is piled in my room. A giant cardboard box is gaping open near my closet, and dozens of pictures are scattered along my desk. My cat won't leave my bed - I swear she knows I'm leaving. I just hope her poor little heart doesn't give out. But maybe it would be better for me if she died while I wasn't here.

Anyways...I think I'm ready, or I'm ready-ish. I still have little things to do, like organize my sheet music and clean my fishtank and update my iPod, but for the most part, I'm out of here. Other than packing, of course. That'll be an all-weekend affair.

Yeah. In twelve days, I will be in Pennsylvania, and I won't be heading home until December. So long Dixie, I guess.

Sometimes I just need to lie still and let the world settle in around me. Time is going by way too quickly.

In other news, Rylyn wrote on my Facebook wall asking about graduation :) having a star like her reach out to a little southern nobody like me is...wow. It makes me glow.

My cat is back sleeping on my bed tonight :) I am a happy girl.

the end of an era

I'm breaking my posting laziness for an incredibly important occasion: my last day of high school.

Okay, first of all, how weird is that? I still can hardly believe I'm a senior, much less a graduate. True, I still have an hour and fifteen minutes before I'm officially done, and I'm not an alum until graduation one week from today...but seriously guys, we ARE done.

I'm sitting in the library now, trying to tie together a coherent blog post while I soak the cushions with my saturated uniform. My light olive dress is now a lovely shade of forest green, and my hair's hanging in disgusting strings down my collar. Oh yeah.

Today really has been wonderful. The last two days have been wonderful - May Day was yesterday, which is another weird milestone I cannot believe I've passed. I remember hugging Carole Mabry our sophomore year and telling her how gorgeous she looked - the only thing she had to say was "you just watch, it'll be your time soon enough." And good gracious, she was right.

I mean, I know that's arbitrary - time is relative anyways - but the idea that I'm no longer a student at GPS is so foreign. GPS is a massive chunk of my identity. I go to this school, wear this uniform, see these people, eat this food, go to these classes, and participate in these activities. It's as much a part of I am as, well, anything.

But our time has come to move on. I've survived seven years of Girls Preparatory School, from getting kicked out of Mrs. Harr's sixth grade math class to actually going toe-to-toe with Mr. Wells in a debate. (well, I don't know if we were toe-to-toe, but I was arguing with him. That was a Big Deal.) I've passed the milestones. I've given a chapel talk, walked in May Day, taken my senior bows, and bruised my shins more times than I can count leaping onto the stage to hug my friends. It's my time now. It's no longer Laura or Payton up there, but me. I cannot get over how bizarre this is.

Last night the seniors were here for over two hours, "decorating" the campus and just generally getting into (tame) mischief. It was a beautiful night. I was standing on the front lawn with the grass dewy and soft between my toes, smelling spray paint on the air and listening to my classmates laugh and yell as we left our mark on the school, at least for a little while. I was struck by how much I'm going to miss these girls, so quickly and violently it left me breathless. So I grabbed Elizabeth's hand and dragged her over to the Naiads where Eller was blowing up balloons. It's the way we make everything okay - by living.

Amy in the cafeteria made her delicious chocolate-chip-banana muffins this morning, like she told me she would. They were heavenly, and so hot the chocolate chips were liquid. There's nothing like a warm, chocolaty muffin on your last day of high school.

Lunch was wonderful - I ended up at a giant double-table with everyone from Robyn and Caroline to Kelsaba and Natalie. We flash-mobbed the Macarena, raved in the food aisles, and conga lined all around the cafeteria with Ms. Gordon and some other teachers hanging on to the back. Kelsey's hands kept slipping off my shoulders, and we all just about hit the ground when we ran into a chair in that odd side conference room. But it was lovely. And then we wiped tables and danced and sang songs from our middle school years at the top of our lungs. Backstreet Boys for the win.

The giant inflatable slide on the front lawn was deadly in the rain. But so much fun. I'm soaked, and so happy.

I'm so happy. But this is so sad.

Since I'm in this writing frame of mind, I'm going to make a list of the seniors (I'll do teachers and underclassmen later) I'll miss dearly, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER. I'm just coming up with these as I go along. I love each and every one of you.

Kelsaba - Eller - Robyn - Bronte - Caroline - Emily - Samira - Nicole - Ame - Abby - Taylor - Chloe - Jordan G - Julia N - Julia R - Jaya - Blair - Morgan - Archer - Brandi - Nisha - Danielle - Kaitlyn E - Michelle - Yashi - Cecilia - Annie H - Natalie H - SD - Sadie - Ryn - Johanna - Audrey K - Audrey P - Lauren S - Lauren J - Teddie - Laura H - Elizabeth - Chloe - Candace - Katie F - Hadley - Laynie - Kristen

Graaaah. Anyways. This post brought to you by sentimentality. I really need to go clean out my locker.

Don't be surprised if I don't post much for the next couple of weeks - like Em said, I'm out living :) I've also found that trying to make something out of the nothing happening in my life is not worth it. But if you're so inclined, you can always watch my Tumblr for my forays into the creative world. butterflyklisses.tumblr.com.

I'll miss you lovelies next year. I'll miss you a lot.

I was going to room with this gal named Ashely for next year - housing stuff isn't up until the twelfth, but people have been looking around for roommates anyways. I found her on the Facebook group and thought she seemed neat, so I messaged her and we started talking.

Turns out she's actually kind of nuts. Like, she reminds me of the terrible relationship I've been getting free of since September. So I had to figure out how to nicely tell her that I was going to keep looking for a roommate because I didn't think we were compatible.

In other news, one AP down, one to go! I'm debating whether or not I should actually study.

Brain, why must you be on vacation?

Oh yeah! I dissected a brain in human bio yesterday! And an eyeball. They were freaking amazing. The human body is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

Roommate issues. I'll elaborate once it all gets worked out.

Calculus exam tomorrow. Oh god.

I know some truly wonderful people. And sometimes I forget that, but thankfully I come to my senses every once and a while.

Seriously. What on earth have I done to deserve all you beautiful people in my life? I love you all.

Happy 100th Post!

Geez, has it really been 100 posts? Though I know I'm crazy behind, haha.

I'd love to make this long, but this keyboard is loud and I have orange sherbert downstairs calling me.

To recap today, Dad and I went up to Elder Mountain to look for tadpoles to put in our water garden at home. No tadpoles, but we DID find a bunch of baby salamanders - we snagged one and put it in our pond, where it is happily chilling out. Elder Mtn was gorgeous today...seriously, I could have stayed there forever. And we were in the middle of the woods looking for tadpoles - literally could not think of a better way to spend my Saturday. Beautiful, beautiful weather.

The Lehigh Facebook group is stressing me out. I'm terrified to post in case people judge me -- I'd so rather wait to meet people in person. Impress them with my good lucks and charm and all that.

In other news, my favorite theater group STARKID POTTER is releasing their newest full-length musical on YouTube tonight at 9 pm central...so 10 pm EST. May or may not watch it right away, but I'm TOTALLY watching it tomorrow! They performed it in Chicago in February, and now STARSHIP will finally be online! The album's doing super well on iTunes - you should check it out. Darren Criss wrote all the music. because he is an adorable, beautiful man.

run from the lights, run from the night, run for your life

Check out my Tumblr for my exciting shenanigans of the evening! I feel either really brave or really stupid.

YOU GUYS

I AM GOING TO LEHIGH.

IT IS OFFICIAL.

THIS IS REALLY EXCITING.

what a crazy week.

Hello friendlies, remember me? Sorry I haven't posted in so long - actually, I haven't been anywhere on the Internet recently. Here's a quick summary of my past week:

Tuesday -> flew to Lehigh! Dad and I got to Allentown around four o'clock, and we spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around Bethlehem. Night: curled up and watched Glee. Slept.

Wednesday -> campus tour! It was one of those accepted-students days, so we did a lot of mingling and sat through a bunch of info sessions. I sat in on an Intro to Psych class, which was neat :)

And thenn our flight back to Nashville got cancelled. So we're stranded in Chicago, frantically rebooking flights for the next day so we could actually get home.

Thursday -> woke up at 4:30 am to catch our flight, got home around five. Crashed.

At the beginning of the week, the obnoxious head cold I'd gotten during tech week seemed to have gone away. False. I am sick as a dog, you guys - it's positively disgusting. On top of having a godawful sinus infection, I was at the doctor's yesterday and got the first Gardasil shot. And I passed out.

Yeah. Literally passed out. It's really embarassing.

So I'm at home lying around like a slug because I'm sore all over, running a fever, and my arm is swollen. It's lovely.

BUT, I love this extended weekend. Especially since I haven't had school since Monday.

Yeah...I got nothing.

I feel like death warmed over
Coming soon - details re my trip to Lehigh, our adventures in Allentown, and how I got stuck in Chicago and missed extra sxhool.
oh god can I please just curl up and die now

I've got a little writing for y'all today. Taken from a Joseph Conrad excerpt we're working through in Wells' class.

A work that aspires, however humbly, to the condition of art should carry its justification in every line. And art itself may be defined as a single-minded attempt to render the highest kind of justice to the visible universe, by bringing to light the truth, manifold and one, underlying its every aspect. It is an attempt to find in its forms, in its colors, in its light, in its shadows, in the aspect of matter and in the facts of life what of each is fundamental, what is enduring and essential - their one illuminating and convincing quality - the very truth of their existence. The artist, then, like the thinker or the scientist, seeks the truth and makes his appeal.

--

It's a little thick, but it's gorgeous. Just read it again, taste the words.

I'm off to PA tomorrow for a final tour of Lehigh :) Exciting stuff. I really, really hope that's where I'm meant to be.

fatal flaws

things I am not proud of::
jealousy
insecurity
bitterness
failure to change
avoidance
spite
the "screw the world" attitude
failure to truly let go
fear of love
fear of judgment
fear
procrastination
manipulation
levity

but mostly jealousy & insecurity. I still compare myself to everyone around me, convincing myself I'm not good enough, that I have to be Better to have worth.
shelby makes me so, so unhappy. there are not words. I feel like she's worked her way into the tender parts of my soul and is shoving thorns into me. I just want to yell from the rooftops, to scream and tell the world how she broke me, how I'm weak and still cannot get over Her.
I don't deal well with betrayal. loyalty is my lifeblood.

I haven't been taking my Prozac. Partly to spite my parents - because hah, if they don't care, why should I? - and partly as a sort of self-flagellation. I'm not a masochist, but sometimes I feel like it's my only way to be heard.

hairspray ended today. I have burning spots on my collarbones where peoples tears fell. I chose to skip the cast party. I need some time alone with myself and my thoughts.

I need some time to just be.

I can sleep soon. Thank god for weekends.
Also I faceplanted on stage today. Literal TIMBERRRR. tripped over the cyc poles. Told people my shoes slipped, which has totally happened before
I love sunny days and the taste of butterscotch.

I am tired and sick and have not posted in days.
Just give me until after this weekend. Blogging ahoy!

we open on friday you think i have time to blog?

today was just lovely

Eller's talk and lunch were today. It is absurd how much I love that girl.

I've known Eller for something like twelve years, isn't that ridiculous? But she's really only come back into my life in the past year or two.

Her lunch was so wonderful today. Sitting in the sun with good food, beautiful weather, wonderful friends. Days like today just make me happy to be alive.

I knew the pathway like the back of my hand

Some lyrics for you lovelies:

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
So why don't we go

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know

This could be the end of everything,
So why don't we go,
Somewhere only we know,
Somewhere only we know,
Somewhere only we know.

somewhere only we know, originally by keane. I've been listening to the glee version, though. ain't I predictable.

--

Rehearsal got called off because of "inclement weather." It's kind of like, seriously? There wasn't anything we could have done - obviously we couldn't have stayed, it was a safety thing - but we neeeed those hours of rehearsal. Anyways. Tomorrow.

I gave Sarah Cobble a ride home tonight after practice got canceled, and it brought to mind just how much I love that entire family. I basically grew up with the Cobbles - we used to go to their house after church on Sundays, and Emma and I would play with Rachel and Sarah for hours. I always hung with Rachel, and I absolutely idolized her.

We lost touch with the Cobbles for a few years, but then Rachel transferred from CCS to GPS, and Sarah joined Emma in sixth grade. I got to know Rachel all over again through theater - honestly guys, it's a family. There's no other way to describe it.

Rachel calls me her angel, but it's really the other way around. Both Cobble girls are genuine lights in my life. Sarah is one of the reasons I can drag myself through particularly tough days like day, and just being around her for a minute perks my day up exponentially. There's just something about that pure, unconditional love that can heal anything.

--

This rain is nuuuuuts. Since when did TN weather get so crazy? I feel like I'm about to have my house cave in on me.

somewhere only we know

I feel like this weekend's been incredibly short...probably because 5/6ths of my day yesterday was rehearsal. So so much fun, but I am still exhausted. It took massive amounts of willpower to get anything whatsoever done today. Oh calculus. Thanks for standing between me and my senior slide. But seriously you guys, as soon as I'm past AP exams, I am GONE. sayonara. In other news, I still don't know where I want to go to college. Actually, that's a lie. I want to go to LeHigh. I'm just afraid that I'm going to make the wrong choice and screw everything up for all time. Gahhh.

actually, I can indeed stop the beat.

oh god you guys I am beaaaaaaaat. totally had rehearsal from 9-6:30 tonight and then dinner out for aunt's birthday and I am about to fall over. it's 10:30. I'm going to sleep. zzzzzz.

dogwoods are absolutely gorgeous

The path I take to school and back turns absolutely stunning in the early fall and spring. It's that hill that goes from the old Greenlife up to GPS, the road that goes kind of through a neighborhood-type-thing. And there are trees everywhere. Not little dinky trees either - full, gorgeous, blooming trees that turn the sides of the road different colors. Right now the dogwoods are blooming, and they're incredible. All those white clouds flocking the side of the road, accented here and there by a redbud or tree that's still green. And I rolled down my windows, put on my sunglasses, and I sang my heart out.

houston, we have a problem

cause he's loving
he's touching
he's squeezing
another

"Any Way You Want It" mashup - Glee cast

--

We watched Apollo 13 in physics this morning. Still not sure how it was relevant, but it's a freaking awesome movie. I was nibbling on Archer's cocoa krispies when she wasn't looking and curled up in a little ball in my chair going "OH GOD DO THEY DIE I DON'T REMEMBER."

Hopefully we'll finish it tomorrow...spoiler: they don't die. I googled it.

We had G-Pa over for dinner tonight, which was always nice. I love him so much, but sometimes seeing him without my grandmother shadowing him makes me really, really sad.

Maja's going to Vanderbilt! I'm so excited. That is so much closer than Arkansas. I like this new development - more time with my little fish is great news for me.

In other news, I have a muscle strain above my ankleeee. No fun. My ankle twisted under me at rehearsal on Monday and did something weird, but I was hoping I could walk it off -- nuh uh, not happening. I'm sitting here with ice on it because it huuuuuurts. And I can't put a brace on it or anything, it's in such an awkward position.

I don't likeee being crippled. Je ne l'aime pas.

Life is crazy and I do not have much time at all to blog. Actually, I do. But tumblr is winning me over. Sometimes pictures express what words cannot. A friend of mine has gotten kicked out of her house. Her parents have suddenly decided they're not okay with her being gay, and she's been disowned. Because she's in love, and it's with a sweet, beautiful person who just happens to be a girl. That just makes me feel physically ill. Please keep Meagan in your thoughts.

today was totally awesome

and I definitely thrive off these days when I need something to smile about def got into UVa and LeHigh in the same day, score def got $$ from LeHigh def want to go to LeHigh more than anything right now def love Eller and Sadie with all my heart def have awesome new music that I can't wait to drive and jam out to def love the rain def love my straight hair (only temporarily)

and baby you're not alone

and baby you're not alone
cause you're here with me
and nothing's gonna bring us down
cause nothing can keep me from loving you
and you know it's true.
It don't matter what'll come to be
our love is all we need
to make it through.

"not alone" - darren criss

--
Okay, I was seriously in the middle of posting last night at like midnight, but right in the middle of the post, my iTouch died. And not like 'oh, I'm just out of battery, charge me later' - no, it just went BAM, and it stopped working. Like, it would not turn on. Thankfully this morning it told me its battery was dead and I could charge it, but...still. Scary stuff.

--

Things I have been doing lately:
-I've been on Tumblr a lot - I really, really love it. I kind of joke that it's like my secret nerd cave, but it's true in a way. A lot of my posts are fandom related (Glee lately), and I follow people who are just as nerdy! It's a lot of fun.
-Frisbee golf & movie night with Amber on Thursday! That was fun, we had a good time. I'm kind of awful at Frisbee golf, but she's really good, and she was teaching me. I definitely improved by the time we got around the course. Then we headed back to her place and watched HP #1 and Glee ep #1 (I'm trying to get her hooked - so far it's working). It was a good evening.
-Waiting to hear if I've gotten into colleges. Grrrr. April 1st cannot come soon enough.
-A lot of piano-ing. One of the awesome things about break is having time to just go down and mess around with chords and sheet music and stuff.
-Reading! I've missed it.
-Sudoku
-Writing fic-swap stuff for some of my Tumblr buddies...huge time stealer, but I'm having a great time with it.

--

Also, I miss talking about music in this blog. Consider that a new feature from now on.

you breathed infinity into my world

So I'm definitely kind of obsessed with Rylyn Juliano. SD and I saw her in CHORUS LINE last Tuesday - she played the role of Cassie, who, if you don't know the show, is absolutely crucial to the show. Rylyn was amazing, gahhh. She's a beautiful dancer, and THEN she starts singing, and her voice is gorgeous - PLUS she can act like nobody's business. Definition: "triple threat."

Anyways. I emailed her with a thank-you-for-such-a-great-show, and she replied with the sweetest message. Basically she was impressed that I knew enough to say more than just "u r good lol," she was flattered to receive my message, and she was more than happy to answer any questions I may have about show biz.

Yeahso. Rylyn and I are talkin'. I feel like I'm talking to a star, it's kind of amazing.

This also happened back when Legally Blonde came through Chatt -- after the show I looked up some of the more impressive guys and gals. I'm friends with two of the LB stars on Facebook (one of them kind of a diva and friends all her fans - I talked to the other one on Twitter for a little while before I friended her). That's the fun thing about talking to these rising stars - they don't have the swarming masses of fans that movie stars and stuff do, so they're more than happy to reach out and thank their fans. Makes me feel kind of awesome.

Myeah. My life is not all that interesting right now, but break has been lovely. Amber and I are going to hang out and have a frisbee golf/HP movie night tomorrow, which I'm super psyched for.

beach-bound!

Hi chickadees! Sorry I've been MIA for the last few days - we're currently at the beach, and internet access here is kind of spotty.

We are at a beach called Rosemary - it's like two miles down the road from Seaside. Rosemary's generally a looooot more quiet than Seaside, but yesterday it was absolutely packed! Apparently a lot of people have left today though - literally half the crowd is gone. I'm a fan.

The weather down here is gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. It's mostly mid-seventies, getting up to eighty around the hottest part of the day, and there's a breeze down on the beach, which is perfect. And the water, you guys - the water is like something out of a painting. It's totally clear and a beautiful aquamarine color that just ripples over the sand. So beautiful.

Today Dad and I rented a sea kayak and went out into the waves while Mom and Emma stayed on the beach and fried - I mean, "tanned." And guess what? We were kayaking with dolphins! Bottlenosed dolphins, they must have been out there feeding or something (we could see them slapping their tails from a distance - they do that to stun the fish), but we were right up in there with them. Dolphins are positively GIANT. It's unbelievable. When you're right up next to them in the water and their shadows are just thick and so powerful under the water - it's absolutely mind-blowing. One of them swam under our kayak a few times. We even saw a momma and her baby! They would surface together with their little fins right next to each other, and the other two bigger ones would flank them.

Anyways, it was awesome, until I got seasick, haha. Like throwing up over the side of the kayak. So dad brought me back in and took mom out, but they didn't see any dolphins.

Other things we've been seeing? Jellyfish! Mom and I saw a Portuguese Man-o-War yesterday, floating way out in the ocean, and Dad and I have been seeing a ton of little guys called comb jellies. Apparently they don't sting - Dad held a tiny one in his hands - but I brushed up against one and swore it got me, haha. Anyways. Stinging or not, they're not exactly things I'd like to hang out with. I love looking at 'em though.

Guys, I miss Sarasota so much, it's ridiculous. I mean, I like beaches okay, but Sarasota Bay at sunset was the most wonderful thing ever. There would be pelicans and egrets out fishing out the sandbars and mullet jumping out of the water and horseshoe crabs dragging themselves in the shallows, and it was like something out of a travel brochure. I really, really want to go back. That program was amazing, and it's times like this that I miss Sarasota like I miss breathing.

one singular sensation

IOU: post re Chorus Line. Check back later.

happy pi day!

good lordy i have too much to do. graaaaaah.

-hairspray is going to be freaking awesome
-nisha's chapel talk! talk about pie overload
-annie haun is my lifesaver
-i get to see laura laughlin soon! i can do it.

spring break, why must you be so far away?

look at the stars, look how they shine for you

I would have gone to Terpsichord again last night if I could have, but it was Cousin David's birthday, so we were all over eating dinner with Uncle and Grandpa and the usual gang. Aunt Missy's an absolutely fabulous cook - she seriously overdoes herself every time we eat with them. She's also started making me a separate entrée since I've been a vegetarian, even though I tell her every single time that she doesn't need to worry about me.

Well, I didn't get to go to all of Terpsichord, but Emma and I slipped out with hasty goodbyes and happy-birthdays around nine o'clock (it was Derek's birthday, so she met up with some friends at Cold Stone) and I booked it to GPS to catch the end of the concert. I really, really wanted to see Urban Veil (Eller and Emily's) again - if it was the only dance I saw, I was cool with that. There wasn't any way I could make it to see any of the first act, so I was content with getting there for my favorite part of Act 2. And I made it! Barely. I slipped into the theater right after the junior number ended and got to see from there on out.

On Saturday I stayed for a little while afterwards to hug my friends and congratulate them and tell them how awesome they were and all that. I was a little hesitant to stay on Sunday - I mean, yeah, it's not a secret that I'm obsessed with Terpsichord, but I didn't want to be creepy and be all "oh hey yep totally came back again." Plus, I mean, it's their night, especially after the last performance. I didn't know if I wanted to see my girls crying - even the thought of it makes me want to rip my heart out. I'm sure part of it is me being in denial - that'll be me in a few months, after the musical's over. But with the musical, it's always the left-behinds that cry the most. Usually. I know as much as the GPS theater department has been my second home and the only family that loves me no matter what...well, I'm ready to move on. It's time to extend my boundaries in new directions.

Hey, speaking of college, I've still only officially gotten in to one (U Richmond), BUT I've gotten two lovely letters from UVa and LeHigh saying in essence "we really, really like you and hope you consider UVa/LeHigh, but we can't officially tell you anything until later in the month."

You guys, I would LOVE to go to LeHigh. Nothing would make me happier. I mean, I'll totally be happy anywhere I applied (I think? I never visited Bowdoin - Maine is too far away), but LeHigh is still my top choice. There was something about it when I visited - I just kept thinking god, I could see myself here. I would love it here.

But my dad went to UVa and he'll be pushing for it, especially since it will be (I think?) cheaper. I liked UVa and all, but it's just absolutely massive. And uber preppy.

gah. not looking forward to making these decisions

any minute now, a ship is coming in.

Dance...wow. I'm so full I'm not even going to try to describe it. But there's something extremely poignant, extremely beautiful, and extremely heartbreaking about seeing my girls up there giving their final salute.

I love dance. It's that kind of pure joy that's almost painful, because you know it has to end at some point in time. So. lovely.

I'm really, really going to miss this place. Or at least these people.

Sorry about the scattered blogging - life is just nuuuuuuts right now.

Things I have to get done before spring break:
- figure out how I want to design my lamp for physics
- design my lamp for physics (probably over the weekend)
- finish travel brochure for human bio
- meet with Annie and Valerie to plan/finish brochure
- email McLain and Molly re: powerpoint for human bio
- finish powerpoint for human bio
- start planning body project for human bio
- human bio test Wednesday
- physics test Monday
- calculus test Tuesday
- Stuff for Blair & Nisha's chapel talks (Friday, Monday)
- Terpsichord
- Study questions, OR live for human bio test
- keep writing Brittana
- rehearsal every day, plus Saturday

See you on the flip side, homies. Life is absolutely crazy until Wednesday.

Glee literally had me in tears tonight.

oh hey monday

Ohh Mondays. How I loathe thee.

People I adore:
Elizabeth
Teddie
SD
SCobble
Nisha (when she's actually being nice to me)
Jaya

That's all for now, blog buddies. So much to do, so little time. Such is the life.

testosterone overload

Mom and Em are in a tennis tournament in Montgomery, meaning it's another weekend with me'n'Popster. Weekends with him are kind of a mixed bag - on the one hand, I'm mostly left to my own devices, which is nice. But Dad's totally one of those people who thinks weekends/vacations are the perfect opportunity to get things done. I swear I hardly ever see him just...chilling out. We always joke about how our vacations are always go-and-do instead of chill-and-relax.

Anyways, this weekend's been a lot like that. I worked at our church on Friday night (helping out with a dinner and a movie thing for the younger kids and their parents) and got home and basically sleeeeeeeeept. Saturday I spent most of the day homeworking, though I didn't get a whole lot done...see, Dad rented a wood-splitter to attack his growing pile of pre-firewood logs, and he and Uncle and Cousin spent the afternoon under a canopy splitting wood in the rain. Cousin got bored after a while and came in and hung with (read: distracted) me, so that was not that productive. Later that night we went over to Cousin/Uncle's house (Aunt is out of town, so they were having a weekend like ours), went out for pizza with Grandpa, and then went back to their house to watch a movie.

I was kind of annoyed by the excess of basketball games, greasy pizza, and man-gossipping (yes, men gossip like crazy, especially lawyers) and I wanted to go home, but Dad convinced me to stay.

Sooo, we watched a freaking awesome movie called MAN ON WIRE, which is the story of this Frenchman who strung a wire between the Two Towers (illegal) and WALKED ON IT. It's a great movie, I really loved it. The fact that the people were French was even cooler.

Sometime towards the end of the movie, I found myself on the couch snuggled up against my dad. My uncle was sitting on the end of the couch, Cousin was between us, and one of their German Shorthairs Wally was sprawled out across us. I was squished and I smelled like dog and I don't even know whose hands and legs and tails were where, but I realized sometime about then how much I'm going to miss stuff like that when I'm at college. I really, really love my family, especially this little group that I hang out with all the time. It's going to be sad not going out to see movies and play board games with them.

Anyways, that's my philosophical thing for the night. In other news, Tumblr is awesome. Love love love.

Things to post about tomorrow

Dinner with fam
Man on wire
Neuroglia
Rain
Wood
Love my fam

Survive the week: check.

Huzzahhhhhhh. Now it's sleep time.

A massive part of my day involves looking for love.

and I threw us into the flames

I am extremely frustrated with a lot of people and a lot of things right now, so I'm going to make a lovely post about something that makes me smile.

I spent two weeks of this past summer at a marine biology-centric program in Sarasota, Florida. There were twenty-four of us in "fish camp," and while I didn't care for a lot of the other kids in the program (for the most part they were immatureeee. and really girls, talking about how people look gross in their swimsuits is not cool), I met a wonderful gal who goes by the name of Maja. (pronounced 'Maya' - she's Polish)

In icebreakers at the beginning of the program, Maja told us that she sings at local coffeeshops in her hometown in Arkansas, and a week after the program ended she was trying out for American Idol in Nashville. Of course we made her sing for us, haha. She had a beautiful voice, and we were all blown away by her. So I decided to be friends with her. :) That's how I roll at new programs like that, folks. A little friendliness goes a long way.

Maja didn't hang out much with anyone except her roommate McKenzie for the first few days, but I was persistent. A few nights into the program we slept over at an aquarium, and Maja and I put our sleeping bags next to each other in front of the amazing tableau of fish swimming all around us. We ended up "tenting" our sleeping bags so we could text without having our phones blind people, and we stayed up and giggled and talked about life until both of us fell asleep.

And from then on, Miss Maja and I were buds. She hung out with a group that called themselves the "Sexy Six" - one of them was McKenzie - but as we became immersed in our intense research projects and started bonding over dissections and lectures and dolphins she started always coming back to me. She might sit with the Sexy Six at breakfast, but whenever we'd walk across campus to do our morning lab work or wade into Sarasota Bay in the evening for field work, we were always together.

And let me tell you, it was nice. I haven't had a best friend since my elementary school bud Emilee, and having someone that I knew held me above everyone else was, well, special. For the first time since Emilee I wasn't paranoid about how I was interacting with someone or worried when they hung out with other people. Because I knew my little fish would always swim back to me.

I'll make another post about Maja another time - it's getting late and I'm losing my train of thought. We didn't have a relationship beyond anything platonic, but she's been one of the most important people in my life in the past year, and she warrants at least two or three posts.

I wish nothing but the best for you, too

I got nervous and edited out this post. So, in the meantime, here's a snazzy picture I found on Tumblr.

and I'll set fire to the rain

I'm fine with tornados if they get me home at 4 the day before I have a calculus and physics test. Yep. Bring onnn the tornadoes.

Since both of my blog buddies have pulled back a little, of course I've been reconsidering my own committment. And even though a lot of my posts end up being one-liners from my iTouch as I'm about to fall asleep, I'm going to keep it up. Blogging's good for me, even if it's doing something trivial like making a playlist or listing some boring stuff I've done that day. It doesn't have to be heart-wrenching and emotional, because even writing down the mundane stuff gives me a place to meditate and center myself.

So yes. I'm stayin'. :)

I didn't go to choir tonight either - parents didn't want me driving in the post-apocalyptic mess. Pros: I'm not going to fail physics and I'm way less stressed. Cons: Mmmm, sorry.

if you left it up to me, everyday would be a holiday from real

I'm definitely getting spring fever - as in, I'm a senior, and I'm so ready to get out of this place. Mainly my family/home and the drama that seems to STALK me, I swear it. I do everything I can to avoid drama, and I'm all but tripping over it. Anyways. I'm really frustrated and restless right now, so I'm sorry if this post is ridiculously incoherent. Music is literally one of the only things that's keeping me from going insane right now, so I figured I'd share with my current playlist with whoever still reads this (who are you? haha).

A lot of this stuff is from Pandora, so I haven't really been splurging on music all afternoon.


Stuff I'm Currently Listening To:

Accidentally in Love - Counting Crows
Holiday From Real - Jack's Mannequin (post title creds)
Thriller/Heads Will Roll - Glee Cast
Through Glass - Stone Sour
Perfect - Pink
Everything on Adele's new album 24, particularly Rolling in the Deep
The Mixed Tape - Jack's Mannequin (I just downloaded their CD, so it's high up on this playlist)
White Blank Page - Mumford & Sons
Northern Downpour - Panic! At the Disco
Sort Of - Silversun Pickups
Don't You Want Me - Glee Cast
Jealousy - Darren Criss
Not Alone - Darren Criss (lovely song - I forsee post titles in the future)
Ordinary Day - Vanessa Carlton
Wine Red - Hush Sound
We Radiate - Goldfrapp
Drops of Jupiter - Train
Positive - Legally Blonde (Originally Broadway Cast Recording)
Closer to the Edge - 30 Seconds to Mars

There ya go, there's got to be something on there for everyone.

Today was a good day :) I think...honestly, I don't remember it.

Amber and I got smoothies at Greenlife before rehearsal this afternoon, which was fun as always. Amber's hubby Scott is out of town until Tuesday, and she gets really lonely when he's gone -- unfortunately, she's also sick, so she's sick and alone :( But we hang out, so it's good.

Rehearsal was good today too. My knees are covered in stage bruises.

Emma has a daaaaate tomorrow night. Sort of. With Derek :) They're going out for dinner and a movie. Totes adorbs.

and the sun had finally come out again

Today was a wonderful day. Because I'm on my iTouch and still have to work out and do calculus before the end of the evening, this post will be short, sweet, and in list-format:

REASONS TODAY WAS AWESOME::
- we're building circuits in physics!
- SD is a lovely person whom I'm super lucky to have in my life.
- THE WEBSITE IS FINISHED. hallelujah.
- on a similar note, the presentation/reading went well
- lunch at Big River for Chloe's chapel talk (mental note: actually write a serious post about that sometime)
- impromptu picnic with Bronte, Saba, and Parker
- totally aced my forensics test
- a study hall when I was not coding! How weird.
- Ms Lindsay at rehearsal!

And the pièce de résistance...

I got into U Richmond! :) first college I've heard back from!

Quick question - who all still reads this blog? haha.

somewhere over the rainbow

I needed a song lyric. so shoot me.

I need to gain motivation to do something besides sleep. Maybe then I'll start blogging again.

but hey, it's still a 365! I'm posting even though I have nothing to say.

Today was positively hellish. Here's hoping for a brighter tomorrow.

Fun fact about me: I have this overwhelming animal instinct when it comes to food.

a) I hoard it and guard my stashes protectively.
b) I like to curl up and eat things like snacks in remote corners of my house where no one will see me (or take my food?)
c) I steal french fries from my lunch table gals. According to Mrs. Dizer, intercepting food from other members of your social group is a way of asserting dominance in animals.
d) I hate hate HATE eating in front of people. Part of that is me being self-conscious, but part of it is this paranoia that someone's going to steal my food or something.
e) I hiiiide my food. Like right now? I'm about to go take a shower and I have a little pack of Oreos chilling out in the bathroom with me. Totally wouldn't have eaten them in front of my other family members.

I don't need a witness to know that I survive

Working with the art for the River Review website has made me remember just how obsessed I am with art forms in general. I mean, it's not weird for me to be obsessed with things relating to theater (from TV shows to comedies to musicals), music (audio tracks), and music (instrumental - I mean, I play piano) because I'm involved with all of them. I'm even a writer in my spare time, so literature & reading are also fair game for my obsessions.

But honestly, my love for all things art does not stop there...not by a long shot.
1. I have a deep and secret love for photography, though I have very little talent for it. I just love to appreciate it.
2. I am seriously obsessed with Terpsichord. Like, Julia and Cecilia kind of tease me about it, it's so bad. (I tried out my sophomore year, but that's a memory I try to block out whenever possible. Good lord it was awful.)
3. I spend a ridiculously amount of time admiring the art around school. Again, Julia and Cecilia tease me about it. And working with the RR art has me in awe all over again.
4. I flow between spending loads of time on art websites, like DeviantArt and Tumblr.

Probably the only form of art I don't drool over is film. I mean, I definitely appreciate the beauty in it and I absolutely love reading about the process - and film is a blend of visual art and photography and theater, so you'd like I would love it all the more. But I've never really been a movie person. Show me one though, and I'll absorb it with all the fervor I save for art forms.

I love love love artists. I feel like they're my kindred souls - I'm not going to try to explain it because that'll ruin the point, but just know this. I want to marry some sort of artist some day.

Post title is from a song by Jack's Mannequin - The Resolution. Love their stuff.

Good mooooorning beautiful blog buddies! Just a quick outline of what I have to do this weekend before I run off to get productive (starting with a shower).

-Lunch with G-ma at the new pizza place on Lookout
-Donate blood! (hey, I'm O-negative, and I'm ready to save some lives)
-Try out our new eliptical
-Text Robyn with movie times for I Am Number Four
-Practice piano/voice
-Resize/code all art for River Review

Homework:
-Mouse Party lab for forensics
-Calc lesson 90
-5 minute English presentation on a passage in Handmaid's Tale
-Get a head-start on my section of the brochure for Human Bio (Annie and Valerie will thank me)


I got eleven hours of sleep last night, and I'm ready to take on the world! :)

Sometimes I skip assembly, because...
a) I simply cannot deal with it
b) I have better things to do (read: river review)
c) I need to get away from people for a tiny space of my day

Hellooooo Mrs. Mines' room.

Am I pathetic or what? Geez, what is up with my blogging? I'm on Tumblr a lot, but I REFUSE to neglect this puppy.

I am tired
I am insanely busy
I am loving this full moon
I am going to see glee live in concert! Probably
I am getting braver, and it kind of makes me terrified
I am a good friend, or I try to be

I am love

Blog fail. I'll be better, I promise.

Blogging is six thousand times easier during the school week. This summer'llbe an interesting test.

Mm, it's late and I'm tired, so I'll give my day in bullet form.
- called off the trip to Knoxville to see Kelsey because of sickness and general mental health reasons
- biked up the side of Lookout with dad. I'm officially a weenie and a drama queen, but it was a gorgeous day and it was fun nonetheless
- I'm officially hooked on Spore again. Too bad it's unbeatable.
- Emma's love interest Derek is going to make dinner for her for V-day tomorrow. Awww :)
- tomorrow at choir I'm going to ask Grant to the Sadie Hawkins dance in like two weeks
- may be having a lonely hearts party with Robyn tomorrow
- I'm reading a 1965 edition of Sherlock Holmes that we found in my grandmother's house

and I can't fight this feeling any more

Sick again -- I swear I've been sick every Winterim for like the past four years. Fail.

Anyways, yesterday Dad took BFF Emilee and me up to Atlanta to see Emory again. We ended up on a tour with Mary Margaret, which was kind of funny. Sarah Shaw was there too - it was like a little GPS community! Emory's a neat place, gorgeous campus, super-modern, all sorts of cool things. It's not my first choice (kind of hard to explain what I don't like about it, so I'm not going to try), but if I ended up there I think I'd be happy. Que sera sera.

Saw both Alizeh and Shyama yesterday when we were touring, which was fun. I haven't seen Alizeh in forever - we weren't ever close at all, but she was one of those people that I've always kind of admired from a distance. Ewray thought a lot of her, and so did Claire. Claire tried to talk Rickie P into letting the two of them both give their chapel talks at graduation.

Anyways, Alizeh seems happy. She gave me a big hug and was really sweet. I love her to death, definitely admire her, but she's...wow, she's intense. I mean, she's always been like that, but you don't really realize how potent it is until you're one-on-one on a random street in Druid Hills.

Emilee and I had a great time, we always do. It takes a few minutes to sink back into each others' presences, but we were Gleeking out in the backseat of the car in no time. I always love seeing her.

And then last night we watched The Social Network for the first time. I'm not normally much of a movie person (fail, I know), but our cousin Andy works for Kevin Spacey, and his name is in the credits! I figured I should watch it for his sake.

And wow, I really enjoyed it. It's a fabulous movie, very well done - Andrew Garfield (plays Eduardo) is super hot and super talented; him plus the double-hot Winklevoss twins (don't know the actors) made for a lot of super awesome eye-candy. Jesse Eisenberg was fabulous as well - I mean, of course he is, he nailed that lead regardless. But I especially enjoyed Andrew Garfield. Om nom noms.

Eisenberg/Zuckerberg's ex Erica was played by a super gorgeous actress named Rooney Mara - she's going to be Lisbeth Salander in the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo movies that Hollywood's adapting. I'm super excited. Totally adding her to my list of actresses to obsess over.

Oops, almost started a bad habit there - skipped a blog day. We're going to pretend that didn't happen...that Glee post was enough to last you all for two days, I guess.

I volunteered at the Pet Placement Center from 10-2 today, which was a lot of fun. I started with jobs like washing dishes and folding laundry and cleaning out litter boxes (eww), but once the lady in charge of the cats (Amy) saw that I wasn't going to go nuts or ignore her or anything, she gave me more fun jobs like letting the cats out and bathing the kittens. Which was ADORABLE. Oh my goodness you guys. You've never gotten snuggles like desperate kitty snuggles. I had three and four cats piling on me at once, rubbing up against me and meowing and trying to get in my lap and just being generally adorable. Loved. it.

Tomorrow Dad and Emilee (best friend from elementary school) and I are road-tripping to Atlanta to tour Emory at the crack of dawn. Mmm. Not excited about getting up early, but I am excited about hanging out with Emilee. I love spending any time with her that I can. She's at Baylor - so I don't see her hardly at all - but even though we've grown up in different circumstances, we're still scarily similar. I love her to death. She makes me wish I was at Baylor sometimes - people like her and Isabel just make me feel loved. But I love GPS as well, don't get me wrong :) You guys are my favorite overall. Wouldn't change it for the world.

This post is mainly about Glee.

Glee is literally...one of my favorite things. And I feel so terribly shallow and cliche saying this, but hear me out, okay?

I didn't start watching Glee until this fall, when Darren Criss started guest-starring. I mean, I was familiar with the show - I knew some of the names, knew someone was gay and someone was pregnant and that they made Journey cool again. And when I went to watch Darren's first episode, titled "Never Been Kissed," I had no desire to stick with the series. I already watch Bones and House during the week and The Office on the weekends - I mean, I don't have time for a lot more. Or so I thought.

So, my lassies, for your viewing pleasure:

Actually Good Reasons Why Glee Is Now My Life:

1. The music is amazing.

Yes, I knoooow they're all covers of songs. But that's how YouTube singers make it, that's how people audition for things, that's how people win American Idol...basically any song you ever sing ever is going to have been written by someone else. That's how it works. There are way more singers than songwriters.

And yes, I'm aware that they use auto-tune. But who doesn't? Glee isn't about perfection, it's about the process. The numbers aren't about vocal perfection (though Ryan Murphy and Fox know that's necessary to keep the show on the air), they're about the emotion behind them. That's why Glee isn't just pop songs, it's pop and classics and showtunes and everything in between, from cheesy songs that are just plain awful to the most recent Cee-Lo song to grace the radio - it's about finding the largest audience possible and communicating the message.

And what is this message? Well, I'll get to that in a later point. So, about the music --

Okay, I'm a bit of a music snob, I'll admit it. And I'm a total theater geek - I'm a sucker for a good arrangement or a good performance. So it would make sense that I'm drawn in by a group of awesome singers (something like half of which are from Broadway) dancing and doing fantastic covers that are catchy and fantastic driving songs.

Anyways. Don't remember where I was going with that. Summary of point one: the music is well-varied, well-arranged, and well-done.

2. The message is inspiring and very real.

It's high school, it's drama, it's stereotypes. I know our school is a bubble and I know Glee is dramatized, but the basic premise is wonderful. Be who you are, do what you want, seize the moment, because your time is NOW, and only you can choose who you can be.

Glee also touches on identity and love and all those other wonderful things, and it's gay-friendly approach is making waves in entertainment media. Go Glee go!

Anyways. It's late. I will get back to this. Look forward to it.

I am so excruciatingly tired. I'm hoping I'll make it through tomorrow. Be strong Louise, ONE MORE DAY.

Good things:
1. Going back to school tomorrow!
2. Glee tonight!
And other stuff I'm too lazy to type out. See y'all tomorrow! :)

yeah...nothing to see here

C'mon blog buddies, where are your posts? I'm getting lonely over here :(

Anyways, yeah, this weekend's been pretty low-key, as expected. I've felt absolutely awful today and have been getting dizzy every time I move for a good percentage of the last eight hours. But I've been working away as best I can...I mean, it's GPS. I miss one day and I have two tests and two homework assignments to make up, a meeting to reschedule, rehearsal to catch up on...yeah, you get the picture. So I'm studying like a mad woman for English, Physics, and Calculus, all of which I have on Monday. Geez Louise.

soo yep, that's my life right now :) huzzahhh.

Remind me what's fun about being home sick again? I'm about to go insane with boredom. Thankfully I don't feel that bad - I almost feel like I cheated the system, haha. Amber's been checking up on me all day, which has helped. She's so wonderful.

...yeahh, I got nothing. But hey, Glee's back this weekend! I'm totally psyched for the superbowl ep - and to show you why, I've enlisted my good friend Darren Criss and his a cappella choir...



In other news, I've been getting some quality bunny-snuggling time in :) Bunny-snuggling and fresh Panara bagels. I guess this day hasn't been so bad after all.

you and i will be young forever

Good call, mom - not exactly mono, but I am home and flu-stricken. Lovely. I hate that I'm missing two days of rehearsal...but on the other hand, I also don't have to take my physics and calculus tests tomorrow. Silver lining, anyone?

I'm really loving Tumblr. I said for a while that I wasn't on it because I wasn't artsy, but it turns out there are plenty of other people whose artsiness I can enjoy. Love love love. I may have a new obsession.

Not much else to report, folks. I've basically been on my couch since noon. Watched a lot of House.

Weird day.

A junior at Signal killed herself this morning, her brother found her in her room this morning - she hung herself. Audrey was telling me about it today after school. It also turns out that Emma's best friend Sydney lives down the street from her - talked to her yesterday after school and everything.

I don't know the story - she used to go to Baylor and got kicked out for some reason (I've heard drugs and sex), but she wasn't, like, on death-watch or anything. I think it was kind of a surprise.

Anyways, Emma's New Testament class talked about suicide today, so Emma brought it up at dinner tonight. So that segued into a discussion of depression, what is depression, why do people kill themselves, is it against the Bible, etc. etc. It made me really kind of uncomfortable.

Deep and personal starts here - turn back now, all ye who fear entry. Also, serious trigger warning: mentioning, brief discussion of suicide.

I know suicides often come in rings - when someone your age kills herself, it makes death that much more accessible and close at hand. Mr. Wells was talking about an idea the other day: every human quest is performed out of fear of death. I'm almost inclined to agree. The suicide-ripple-effect also happens out of jealousy too. Sometimes people kill themselves (or cut, or try to kill themselves but fail, etc.) out of a cry for attention - not drama-seeking stuff, just a cry for help. Letting people know you are struggling but don't want to say anything.

Anyways. I got all squirmy when we kept discussing it, then went into more talk about depression and stuff. Emma's a relatively unobservant person. She knows I go to therapy once a week, but just that it's "someone I talk to," but she doesn't know I'm medicated or any of my history with mental stuff (craziness). And it's not something I want her to know about. She tends to flip out and go all let-me-save-the-world (she's done it before), which isn't pleasant for anyone. But. I just really, really hate talking about suicide, and depression, and self-harm. It's almost that jealousy thing - that's the whole reason I get myself into messes to begin with, I just want someone to love me and help me out.

Anyways. Yeah. Not a pleasant discussion, I've had to pull out Anna's Survival Guide and a playlist for occasions like this and try to pull myself out of it. That's one of my massive triggers - getting kicked into a funk of my own by reading about someone else's or something. It's like dwelling on it only makes it that much more real.

Aaaaand end trigger warning :)


Also, my mom thinks I might have mono. Hmmm.

edit: oooh, also, I am super proud of myself. I deleted Ex's last voicemail from my phone. From September. Go Louise! Moving on has never tasted so sweet.

the light, it slipped through the window

I am so incredibly wiped out, physically and mentally. Soooo tired. Break cannot come soon enough.

Must...study...

Hmmmr. It's been a long day. I feel like I've been getting on everyone's nerves all day, and I haaaate that. Hopefully tomorrow will be different.

what a busy, busy day

Mondays are absolutely nuuuuts. Here's how my day went...

> Wake up at 6:45 am, get dressed, get to school around 7:30 am. (Happily wearing short-sleeves.)
> Human Biology lecture, food + disappointing adventure to the library, Physics lecture, English...something. I'm not really sure what happened in English today?
> Talk to Ms. Berotti re: River Review during activity, work on the website with Johanna Kibble for ~20 minutes before realizing all our work has been in vain. (Fail.)
> Forensics! I love that class.
> Study hall, therapy on Frazier, then back to GPS for Hairspray rehearsal!
> Boogieing (what a weird word) around and getting gross and disgusting + singing, + more singing.
> Jump in the car, eat a Nutri-Grain bar, put on deodorant, drive to McCallie for choir.
> Choir! (May or may not have shamelessly flirted with a few of the better-looking basses...)
> Home, dinner. Yum. Blog post!

What an exciting day. It's been go-go-go since I woke up this morning, and I'm finally getting a few minutes to relax and reflect. I've started using Tumblr again, and today this image just about sums up my frame of mind:



Yes, my life is crazy and full of things to get done...but life is still good. And I'm happy that I'm happy.

On a similar note, here's Song #1 from Anna's playlist #1:

Happiness, by The Weepies
Instructions: Listen to this song when you need to remember how it feels to be lighthearted and happy, without a care in the world.

Peace and love, you guys.

I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one's giving a high-five

I've been listening to one of the CDs Anna burned me as part of her "Survival Guide" - I wasn't sure about it at first, but I really really love it :) I don't know why I pulled out the survival guide, I think I've just been lacking motivation lately, and it's been helping me get back to things. 

The talent show last night was wonderful. Emily was a gorgeous host, and I'm so so SO proud of Sarah Douglas! I knew she had a beautiful voice, and now the rest of the world knows it too! All these dancers who can sing, geesh. Impressive.

Okay, back to Anna's bit - here's playlist #1. I'll post the song significances some other time, when I'm not posting from my iTouch.

1. Happiness - The Weepies
2. Kilimanjaro - Johnny Clegg & Juluka
3. Swim - Jack's Mannequin
4. True Colors - Glee
5. Breathe - Alexi Murdoch
6. With a Little Help From My Friends - Beatles
7. What I've Done - Enter the Haggis
8. Smile - Glee
9. Cruel, Crazy, Beautiful World - Johnny Clegg & Saruka
10. I Wish I Were The Rain - SHEDAISY
11. Heart of Life - John Mayer (looooove)
12. Dear Prudence - Beatles
13. Hang On - Guster
14. Today - Jesse Clegg
15. Hand in My Pocket - Alanis Morissette

ashes & wine

One of the doctors in my dad's firm lives up the street from us - his daughter was a senior when I was in eighth grade. Dr. Cherry was divorced and married Amy a few years ago, and we all loooove Amy. She's always out running in our neighborhood, sometimes dragging their super-fat rescue dog Penny along for a lap or two. Penny and Molly are buds :)

Anyways, my dad told us a few weeks ago that Amy moved out, and she took Penny :( Nothing's final yet, but it's still really sad. Both of Dr. Cherry's kids (Katherine and George) are in college, and now he's all alone by himself in that big house.

Exceeeept, Katherine and George got him a puppy for Christmas! Or, a puppy IOU. Little Bonnie was only old enough to come home with him this past Tuesday. Dr. Cherry is absolutely transformed - he told my dad that it's the happiest he's been in a long time. And that just makes me smile. Dr. Cherry's the sweetest guy.

He brought Bonnie over to visit today! And she is the CUTEST THING, you guys. She's an English lab, meaning that she won't get as big as regular labs do. She has the sweet puppy breath and those big paws and the loose skin and super-soft fur, and she just ruuuuuns around everywhere, tripping over things and rolling around and just being absolutely adorable. Love her to pieces.

This is what Bonnie looks like...



Love. Love love love love love.

Anyways, I took my English exam at 7:45 this morning. Not fun. But I felt incredibly accomplished afterwards. I love mornings - definitely a morning person, and just that time of the day is absolutely lovely. I'd get up early every day if I didn't like to sleep so much.

Also, Emma had a date last night! Sort of. His name is Derek (he's Lauren's little bro), and he and Emma have been hanging out like crazy recently. They go to church together, play tennis together, go to social events/dances together...all that fun stuff. So she invited him over to hang out last night. They played ping-pong and he played piano (points for the dude) for a while, and then they came up to make pizza...and Derek and I played Lego Harry Potter on the PS3. Oh yeah. I asked him if he wanted to come join me, and he jumped on it, haha. So much fun!

Derek's a fab kid, I want he and Emma to just go out already. He's really good for her - really calm and laid back (which she needs), but they're interested in all the same things. He's actually kind of a mix of the two of us: Emma's tennis, churchiness, and excited humor + my laid-back personality, love of music, and general chillness. It's a match made in heaven. :)

nothing to see here

Short post tonight, my darlings -- I have to get up early and go take my English exam tomorrow morning. Eww.

Since I don't have a lot to say, I'm going to make a list of people that have made me happy today (in no particular order):
-Teddie
-SD
-Rachel Hadden (freshie in the musical)
-S-Cobble
-Robert Dann (because his Edna is AMAZING. lol-worthy.)
-Nisha
-Kelsey Worsham (best Girls' State friend - I'm going to get to see her over Winterim!)
-Ali (because you wanted me to mention you (;]
-Amber
-Derek (Emma's almost-boyfriend. Love him to death.)

Bought my May Day dress (yuss), went to rehearsal for three hours, came home and played Lego Harry Potter, ate dinner, played piano, crashed. Another successful day. And let the weekend begin!

you can't stop the beat

Mkay, rehearsal is SO much fun...but I'm absolutely exhaaaaausted. But I have an idea.

So I want to be a star one day, right? And musical theater is one of my favorite things in the world. But dreams take a little more than wishing.

SO, starting tomorrow, I am going to put myself into what I've started calling "The Hairspray Routine." Healthy eating, stretching before rehearsal, all that exciting stuff. I know it's small, but I'm determined. Small things build up over time. Plus, hey, if the Terpsies can do it...it's not impossible. Though I'm not saying I'm anywhere near you guys, haha. Not at alllll.

BUT, anyways. Lesson in self-improvement.

P.S. I think this is like my 32nd blog post. Scooore. They say it takes 30 days to build a habit...I think it's safe to say I'm in the habit of blogging by now ;) Peace out, lovelies, hope you're doing well.

i don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity

Ex used to say sometimes that he "couldn't take universal priorities." I always thought that was kind of stupid -- actually, I realize now that a lot of what he said was -- but today I kind of realized what he meant.

Ex always told me that senior year is one when everything changes. Again, I thought he was being overdramatic (and again, he was a good percentage of the time), but...well, it's true. In a good way, I think. Maybe it's senior year, and maybe it's just me learning how to love myself, but I feel like I've gotten braver. Not like "let's go skydiving" brave, but standing up for myself. Hanging out who I want to hang out with. Not letting people walk all over me.

I mean, I'm not a total wimp, but I'm definitely more of a passive personality. Conflict makes me cringe. But it was today that I really realized how I've grown, and strengthened, I guess.

Mkay, so I just typed three or four very angry paragraphs where this is now, but they're not worth keeping. Backspace.

Anyways, I realized that I'd changed when I almost confronted Mrs. B in River Review today. I almost stood up during that club meeting and said look, we're not going to be able to do this. But then I realized it probably wasn't the best venue -- trust me though, I'm going back to talk to her tomorrow or something.

Anyways. On to the positive of the day :)

I have a voice lesson with Mrs. Riddle this afternoon, which is always fun. We're picking some pieces to work on, just for fun or whatever, to help me grow in my voice and experiment with range and tone and stuff. Basically playing around, having a good time. I'm super psyched.

So, when she asked me a song suggestion (here's another place where I got brave), I suggested "Out Tonight," from Rent. And holy cow you guys, that is a heck of a song. But I absolutely love it, and I absolutely love Rent, so I threw it out there. And she got really excited! She thinks it's a perfect song to draw me out of my comfort zone, haha.

So we're doing Rent, and we're also going to be doing Sara Bareillis' "Gravity." This is a positively beautiful song, and I'm so happy to be singing it. Mrs. Riddle also wants me to learn to play it on the piano - I have the sheet music for it, it'll just take a little time to practice it. She has this idea of me being this piano-playing-song-singing double threat. Hah. This'll be interesting.

there's no need to complicate, our time is short

Sooo, just got the Hairspray cast list, approximately six minutes ago?

I'm totally fine with my part - Mrs. Bolden explanied it to me this morning. I kind of wasn't expecting a lead after I didn't get called back (but I thought I nailed the singing? Apparently not.) Apparently there's this group called the "Character Squad" that consists of me, an uncast girl, and a few guys -- we rotate around, basically constantly on stage, and fill in roles like teachers and parents and stuff...yeah, still don't really know, but Mrs. Bolden said we'll be doing plenty of singing and dancing.

But the LEADS? Holy frijoles you guys. Do. Not. Like.

Katy Beth has a heck of a star complex anyways - putting a SOPHOMORE in THE LEAD is not a good idea (unless it's someone like Natalie Pittman or Sarah Thomas or Emily Dake, who's positively brilliant). I mean, I guess she's good and all - honestly, I didn't really watch auditions, I was too busy trying not to freak out - but she's SO OBNOXIOUS. Like, it's absolutely ridiculous.

I'm about ready to rip my hair out. And then Mary Margaret as Penny? I mean, I love her to death, but she can't sing! She can't hold pitch!

I'm a little hesitant about blogging my thoughts on this matter, because I don't want to be a hater and I want to support my theater team. But I know if I don't get this out there now, I'm going to be angry and bitter and spread negativitiy. God knows I'll have to deal with enough of that once I get to practice this afternoon.

I've still felt awful today, I think I have a bug or something. I'm going to call my mom and see if I can skip rehearsal today - I know all the stuff we're learning, and I'd really really like to steer clear for at least a day and let all the drama die down. It was baaad this year, and it's not going to fade right away.

Mrrg. Thankfully I have piano this afternoon. My perfect stress reliever.

I go through these little spurts when I'm obsessed with certain musical - lately I've been listening to Rocky Horror like nobody's business. Legally Blonde is my longest-enduring obsession - after seeing the show I literally had the CD playing nonstop for almost two months. But, it's Rocky Horror now (the Glee version), and I've been rocking out to the Time Warp and "Damn It, Janet" on my way in to school in the mornings. Score. Laura would be proud.

I am so, so tired of theater drama. It makes me so uncomfortable and angry and antsy, and all I really want to do is rip my hair out or bite someone or something. Graaaaaah. I can't wait until stupid auditions are over -- LITERALLY GOING INSANE. Not happy.

I didn't realize we were going to be rehearsing some dance stuff today (no one did? no one had their shoes or anything), and the first forty-five minutes of rehearsal ended up being cram session for the routine we learned during the summer Hairspray camp. I got pretty sick - I think I was just super dehydrated or something. I ended up lying on the floor of the dressing room (ew) for upwards of ten minutes just to make sure I wasn't going to go back out there and pass out or throw up or something...anyways, I'm feeling better now. Amber and I went for Starbucks before choral union at 6:30, and just sitting and resting and drinking was wonderful.

Currently listening to: You and I Both, by Jason Mraz. Okay, maybe Rocky Horror isn't the only thing I'm listening to ;)

My mom had to go to Bristol for a funeral today, so she give us each a little list of things to do. My job was to let the bunnies out to run around and get some exercise - they are faaaaaat darlings, and they need all the exercise they can get. I brought a book and curled up on the wooden chaise my mom picked out for her birthday and let Belle out first. Belle's a sweet-tempered little Dutch bunny. She let me hold her for a while before she hopped around the deck. I wasn't too keen on the whole sitting outside thing at first, but by the time Belle hopped back in her cage I was really enjoying it.

So I let bunny number two out (Thistle, aka Fatso) and soaked up even more of the lovely outdoors. I always thought 'weak winter sunlight' was just a poetic cliche, but that's totally not the case. It's really soothing, almost - gentle and delicate while still letting you know that hello, I'm the sun and am a huge part of your day.

I stayed out until my fingers were too frozen to turn the pages of my book, and then I retreated inside. But it was a lovely afternoon all the same.

you're toxic, I'm slippin under

I love weekends.
I hate drama. Especially theater drama.
I love dances.
I love Amber.
(and Sadie)
(and Laura L)
I also love this symbol --> €
I love my sister...sometimes. Definitely today though.

I'm supposed to hear from UNC today and the website is not workinggggg. Mrr. This makes me frustrated.

Another thing that makes me frustrated? The darn musical. I'm so incredibly tired of musical drama, and we're not even past auditions. Thankfully, the only way we can go from here is up! Things always get better once the drama drama has settled a little.

Speaking of drama...my home life is rapidly spiraling. My family is terrifyingly volatile - it's like, c'mon life, cut me a break, ok? Last night was a total explosion of yelling and door-slamming and crying, and it started up again this morning at 6:45 am sharp. Courtesy of Emma.

I'm not even kidding you guys, I'm this close to breaking away and going to stay with someone else. Emma's just turned into such a petty, selfish, inflexible brat who turns every little discussion into a massive confrontation, hysterics and all. It makes life exhausting around here.

I don't really want to go into the drama this time -- basically it was StuCo related. Anyways.

Archer and Valerie and our dates are going to Southern Star for dinner tonight, then we're off to the dahnce. How exciting :)

who died and made you king of anything?

I'm doing an early blog post this evening. We have a paper to write for Wells for tomorrow, and in a rare burst of pure motivation I'm going to crank it out before the evening gets too old.

Had yoga again this afternoon - the teacher is a lady named Jessica, and she is one of the sweetest souls I have ever met. She remembered me from when I did yoga with her last year, and when I saw her at Fairyland on Christmas Eve she recognized me and came over to give me a giant hug. She's just the nicest lady, so much fun to have teaching us.

I'm nibbling on the most delicious peanut butter cookies that my grandfather's housekeeper made us today. They're perfect, all soft and chewy and tender, and they're only 87 calories apiece. Score.

So I'm a pretty chill person, right? At least most of the time. But there is one person that has always had the ability to absolutely infuriate me. (actually...there are more than one, but I'll focus on this person for now) The lovely Miss Shelby DeWeese.

Shelby and I have a bit of a "history," we'll call it. We were best friends (totally inseparable - like I went and stayed with her family in Kentucky for a week) during sixth and seventh grade. Around eighth grade, Shelby started hanging out with Lucy and Blair more and shoving me off. But at the end of eighth grade when I got into Chamber Singers and she didn't, she decided our friendship was no more.

Actually, I'm not really sure when exactly she started deciding that she hated me. It wasn't overnight, it was kind of one of those eventual drifting apart things. But it wasn't just that we weren't friends anymore - she hated me, like straight up hate. Told me to my face once or twice. She told me I was too boring and cowardly and predictable and arrogant (how do those even go together?), and she didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. Ouch.

Anyways, long story short, up until about mid-junior year she waged a constant war against me, attacking or bringing me down every chance she could get. She kind of has a sarcastic personality to begin with, so it didn't look like she was being vicious, but she knew me well enough that she could take me down in one hit. When she started spending more time with Emily Dilbeck and Laura Laughlin (she thought they were cool), we hit a sort of truce. I've been close with Emily and Laura since sixth grade. Wasn't one of those things she could convince them out of.

During the fall play though, Shelby was actually nice to me. It was like we were young and besties all over again - we said hello in the hallways, hung out amiably at school and practice, joked and had a great time. Needless to say, I was kind of suspicious. Why on earth would she be so nice to me?

So it was kind of a relief when we came back from Christmas break and we resumed our no-talking thing. Well, she decided we weren't talking any longer.

Shelby just...drives me crazy. She hates me because we've always done the same things, been in the same classes, and for a lot of the time I've been half a step ahead of her. You should have heard how she taunted me when she beat me for a lead in The Miracle Worker last fall. But I wouldn't be so bothered by this cold shoulder if it weren't for the fact that no one else sees it.

I told Claire about it one time, and she was totally shocked. She said she could see it, but it wasn't something she would have expected or noticed. Teddie found out about it the other day and had a similar reaction.

Shelbs doesn't really hang out with seniors anymore - she's always with Emily Werner and Mary Margaret - so I haven't seen as much of her this year, but occasionally our paths do cross. Not that she acknowledges it or anything, though.

All riiiiight, got that out of my system. I'm usually pretty okay with our lack-of-relationship, but today she was just getting under my skin for some reason. Phew.

--

Song to look up: Still Love, by Holly Brook. Yes, that's totally her name.

and I won't hesitate no more, no more

I am absolutely exhaaaausted. But in a good way. But it's starting to look doubtful that I'll make it through the rest of the week.

Let's see, today started with one of the classic Wellsian lectures - this morning it was about modernism. Love Wells, love what he has to say, but I tend to come out of his class in a funk. Next, Jaya and I spend the first five or ten minutes of calculus talking ourselves back into the real world, and the day goes on. This morning was much like that, haha.

May Court shenanigans were super exciting, but I am one tired chick. It was a pretty good day, though - there were a lot of sweet little moments that positively warm my heart.

Poor Elizabeth started crying when Mary Anna brought up her dad in her chapel talk, so I entertwined our fingers until the talk was over and she had calmed down a little bit. I absolutely love Elizabeth, she's one of those people that perks me up on the most dreary days. I was worried that with Laura L leaving for college I would lose my sunshine -- I guess I forgot how many wonderful people are in our grade.

Seriously, let me stop and make a note of this for a second. I was panicking at the end of last year because I thought that when the 2010ers graduated, all the people I loved and respected and wanted to be around would be gone. And I did feel lost and lonely for the first little bit of school, which got even worse with The Epic Fail of A Break-Up. But something changed. I'm not entirely sure what - I think it has something to do with SD, with Eller, with Teddie, with Liz. Finding people I loved being around sort of came around the same time I started loving myself again - it's like I finally believed I was worth a good relationship.

Anyways, stepping off my soapbox now. What I'm trying to say is that I really, truly love the people in my life right now. I know some marvelously beautiful people that I'm going to be heartbroken to let go of. But they've been around right when I needed them, and I'll take their lessons with me as we go off in our different directions.

Anyways. Actually stepping off the soapbox now. I had a voice lesson this afternoon - Mrs. Riddle's teaching me how to belt, haha. My throat is soooore. That plus emotional exhaustion plus dance auditions (Teds and Liz and I rocked our audition group) has culminated into an extreme lack of academic motivation. Unfortunately I have two tests tomorrow. Hmm. Interested to see how this works out.

... :) I love you guys <3 So, so much.

edit: things of note:
1. Called the Ex about May Court...yeah. There's a reason we're not together anymore. 'Nuff said.
2. Eller's back! :) And that makes me a happy person.

every rain makes its way into somebody's soul

Today was a pretty good day as well - not gonna lie, I'm liking this positivity. I could get used to it.

Morning - dissected cats, found out ours is pregnant. This reminds me of the time in Florida we dissected dog sharks - Maja and I found out that ours had babies! Fully-formed baby sharklets, as long as my forearm. Our instructor said they would have been born in another couple of days, which was kind of sad, but pretty awesome all at the same time.

Afternoon - forgot I had study hall and went to Forensics double-period...I figured it out pretty quickly though, haha. Mrs. Durham laughed at me.

After school - musical auditions! I was shocked with how well they went. Laura was right - being a senior is soooo much easier. I didn't feel like everyone was judging me and looking down their noses at me. That was probably the best singing audition I've had since High School Musical, and I got a lovely part in that show. It was nice to be successful for once.

Tonight's been nothing too interesting, just homeworking it up. A book I ordered last week finally came from Amazon, which is exciting.

Poor Eller's sickly - I texted her after she wasn't around in math this morning, and she said she was staying home so she won't get worse. I wouldn't be half as worried if I hadn't read so much into her texts - I'm a notorious tone over-analyzer, and texts are awful for that. I'm worried about her, I hope she's okay.

One day I'm going to have something interesting to say in these posts. And one day I'll actually keep up with the Challenges. Well, there's always tomorrow...

(can you tell I'm distracted?)

Guess what guys? I totally feel like a ninja today. Love days like this.

So you know how I always tell you songs or artists to look up? I'm for serious this time - I have stumbled upon a GENIUS. Her name is Christina Grimmie, and she is one of those YouTube singers who just managed to get picked up by a recording artist. I've posted a couple of her videos here for your convenience. :)







Today was an exciting day, but I'm pretty exhausted. I had school (which is exhausting in itself - human bio and physics quizzes), then therapy, then yoga (totally sore, but it was so much fun), and then choral union! I haven't sung with Mr. Cisto since sophomore year - I was in Chamber and Candlelight for 9th and 10th grade, but then theater started conflicting so I had to drop out. But now I'm a second-semester senior, meaning that I have more time and fewer obligations! Or maybe just less motivation. Anyways, I'm back :) I missed it so much, I haven't been doing any singing since GPS Singers ended last year. And Wednesday I start voice lessons, so...yeah. I be singin'.


I am in a really, really good mood. Really. :)

mrrrr.

Not much to say, just posting so I will have done it :)

Watching the Golden Globes. Yusss. Confession: I love celebrities. Well, just celebrities I'm familiar with. But I may have a bit of an unhealthy obsession.

Mom's angry with me again. Dislike. I guess I'll just avoid her for the rest of the evening?

Song to check out: Mumford & Sons' "White Blank Page".

gotta love saturdays

I can't ever come up with post titles. This is a problem.




Hey guys, guess what? I went SPEED-DATING tonight! It was actually a lot of fun. I was prepared for it to be a disaster and totally awkward, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. I knew a lot of the guys, like Addison and Carter from the plays and good-friend Grant and people like that, so it was good. Looking forward to choral union next week to see some of those lads again. Plus...I need a StuCo date. Sam totally blew me off the last time we saw each other, so I'm ready to chase down someone else in case I have to, haha.




What did I do to prepare myself for speed-dating? I watched House...the speed-dating scene. I've taken the liberty to look it up for you guys, no knowledge of the TV show required :)


Basically what happened before this: House, Wilson (the oncologist), and Chase (the hot guy) go speed-dating. House is annoyed that hot Aussie Chase is there - "you're supposed to bring your ugly friends to these things" - and makes a bet with him. Chase is going to present himself as unemployed, a little stupid, and he has to drop his accent...House bets him $100 that he'll still get a dozen dates by the end of the night.


(Spoiler: he's right)







I wrote this entire post in HTML. I think I might keep this up from now on - it's easier to navigate and play with. Go web design! Except sometimes I forget break tags, so my text gets all jumbled without paragraph breaks. My apologies.



Harry Potter Challenge Day 04: What is your patronus?



Well, I kind of answered this yesterday with the porpoise. I guess if I wasn't a porpoise, my animal representation would be some sort of cat, like a margay or something (look 'em up, they're lovely).




Metaphor Challenge Day 02: If I were a color, I would be gray.

Gray's actually a lovely color - it can be soft and attractive or bold and striking...I mean, I'm not saying I'm much of either, but I like to think I complement people well, like gray. It goes with everything. I'm not quite as versatile as gray (I mean, you can even spell it two ways), but I can be adaptable when I feel like it...well, actually I just like gray, okay? (:

because friday, I'm in love

Today was largely useless. I mean, we needed to have school today, but I was there like five hours, haha. I'm just ready for things to get back to normal again.

Talked religion with the lovely SD at lunch today, like I did with Emily a few days ago. I'm really liking what they've had to say -- nothing I can make a coherent blog post about yet, but I'm thinking. The wheels are a'turning.

Day 03: Who is your favorite HP professor?

I always loved McGonagall, though like many people I have a super soft spot for Lupin. McGonagall has this no-nonsense demeanor that just evaporates every once and a while, and it was good to see someone who was kind to Harry at the beginning. Plus a) her name is Minerva, b) she can transform into a cat, and c) she teaches my favorite subject.

I love Lupin because I love the Marauders, and I used to read and write and absorb Marauder fics like crazy. Having the crazy teenage boys running around Hogwarts in the good ol'days is just too good to resist, plus Lupin was always the cautious bookworm. Plus he's a werewolf, aaaaaand he marries Tonks! Sorry if that's a spoiler, but I'm pretty sure you know that, if you read HP ;)

I'm also starting another challenge, the Seven Day Metaphor Challenge. Because my Interwebs ADD is exactly what you want to read posts about.

Day 01: If I were an animal, I would be a porpoise, because my personality's a match. I go with the flow, I like to scope things out before rushing into them (sonar), I'm calm and under the radar, and I'm not solitary but don't like massive groups of people. I used to do this in my spare time, matching personalities to animals, haha. That's what the forum I met Anna was based on. Story for another time, haha.

Later lassies, have a fabulous weekend. :)

And the world begins to thaw...

We got our mail today, for the first time in like five days -- that means things are finally going back to normal! I mean, I love snow just as much as the next Southerner, but I'm ready to go back to routine. I actually kind of like school a lot :)

Today was another one of those fun, lazy days -- I can tell because I can't remember what I've even done today, haha. Uploaded some FB pictures this morning, read some, worked on that scholarship essay, finished Glee Season 1, etc., etc.

Amber came over a little before 4 and just left a few minutes ago. We talked for a while, worked on the talent show number (Sara Bareilles' King of Anything), and then she played around with some sheet music while I tried to neaten up the area around my piano. Which was a fail. My sheet music is in stacks all over the place, it's a mess. Not even an organized mess either. But I can generally find what I'm looking for, give or take a page or two.

Anyways, it's always fun to hear her talk about her life. She's almost exactly six years older than I am, and she got married in June to a guy named Scott that she'd been dating for a while. We talked about her family, her future, if she wants kids (yes, but later, and only one or two), and fun stuff like that. She's fabulous, I'm so lucky to have her. And she lives sort of nearby, so I know if I can't take it over here I can flee to her house and she wouldn't care.

I'm so looking forward to school, if only so I have stuff to talk about here, haha. Lame. Let's go back to the Harry Potter challenge I meant to do yesterday as well --

Day 02: What is your favorite class?

I always really loved Transfiguration. Just the idea of transforming things is so typical magic, and it's always fun to see them having trouble changing a teapot into a tortoise ("mine had a willow-patterned shell") and goofy stuff like that that you'd probably never use ever. But Transfiguration was one of those neat classes that I think Rowling could have written a separate book on.

Baby, it's cold outside

Hello my lassies, I hope you're loving this no school extravaganza. I'm kind of super happy that they saved no exams and a freaking blizzard until our senior year...pretty awesome :)

this post is gonna be short because I'm on my iTouch again, and I'm not really in a pensive mood. Had a massive fight with the parents last night, like the typical yelling, crying, panic attacks, all that lovely stuff. I ended up crash-burning on my whole don't-talk-to-your-ex thing, because I'm so used to having someone to look to when my world is unravelling around me. But things are okay now, or better. It was bad enough that I was seriously considering staying somewhere else for tonight, if I could crash somewhere, but I didn't get my car back until a few hours ago, and the restless anger has mostly left my system. But it wad bad, guys. Next time this happens, I'm out of here. I'll go stay with Amber or Nisha or someone, I can make it work. But I'm moving on.

I did yoga at the sports barn this morning, which was a fantastic mood-changer, and afterwards I ran by Smoothie King. Food of the GODS. love it.

In other news, I am having a weird allergic reaction to some food? It happens randomly, like this summer at camp all of a sudden my lips swelled up and stuff. Nothing life-threatening, but I am covered in an obnoxious patchwork of hives, haha. Here's hoping my week gets better. Amber's coming over tomorrow to rehearse our talent show piece, and I have to write a scholarship essay for U Richmond and catch up on calculus. All that exciting stuff :)

I did finish an awesome book today - the demon king by cinda williams chima. It was great - I found it in books a million and love her stuff, and I was super happy with the find. Don't be discouraged by the title - it's a fabulous book, def worth reading.